Zine Legend and Poet Lauriate in waiting Stephen Micalef chucks us some prose

Stephen Micalef  - Zine Legend, Poet Laureate and Lord Mayor in waiting chucks us some poetry.


Following on from his huge successes as former editor of the first ever rock-fan zine, ˜Sniffing Glue', Stephen Micalef is now pushing his campaign as Poet Laureate. But it's not going so well.  He tells me one day outside a pub in Brick Lane that he also recently ran for the Mayor of London but only just lost out to old school pal Boris.   He assures me that he was a close contender but even despite his impressive CV - 'I was head of the party circuit at Oxford University and I gave the homeless squats to live in the '˜70s, Oh and I used to run a gallery called '˜Don't Fuck With This Flat Deaf' where we'd put on a poetry and art evening with all the criminals of Brixton. 'They were a laugh but you couldn't really trust them'“ - he still didn't make it into the mayor HQ.  

Ah well, after years of putting on The Brixton Poet (a regular poetry event at different squatted venues round Brixton, including the Lido once!) Micalef is now mainly concerned with making sure every important William Blake date is marked with an explosion of performances at an appropriate place.  'We celebrate his birthday on the 12th July around the font he was christened and his death day on the 12 August and his beloved friend Robert's death day, his sister's Birthday, Blake's depression day. We are looking for dental appointments." he laughs.  He reaches in his suit pocket and hands me a bunch of envelopes decorated with a comical little collection of poetry 'speshly for La Bouche readers... So here you are:

PIG FLU (Sposored by G20 and Kleenex)

When you blow ya nose throw
Away the Kleenex 'Cos otherwise
You get Pig Flu “great idea'
Obama' says Gordon  "so now
Can I pump trillions into
The banking system“
'Sure, dude,' we watch
Passengers coming back from
Cancun n they âre allowed
To give pig flu to everyone
We're in a major pandemic
But Britain is the best
Equipped to deal with it
Cos, it doesn't exist
Recession? Be thankful
You're still breathing n alive


Pig Bus

I can't move for blame
Blame is the game
Tackle crime now
Stop the pig.
Anti social behaviour
Stop the pig now
Pigs providing high visibility
Reassurance, stop
The pig  -  ya can't
Even get on a bus
Now it's full of
Fat pigs on the
Pig bus - they really
Are the thick pits
Pigs, out to abolish
Passangers on the pig
Bus - people say
Stop Police
But they never do.


An Open Letter from The Queen

To Me 

The Queen sent me a consolatory
Telegram 'âm gutted,' she said
You, Micalef, I tried everything in
Ma power to inundate you as
Poet Laureate  - you simply
The best 'n' would write lots
Of hot poems about royalty
But Go-don was dead against
Your dynamism 'e said you're
Not trustworthy enuff to toe
The party like 'n' 'ez dead right
That's why we love you, the
Duke was especially looking
Forward to your poem about
Him listening to the cricket score
In the radio he had in his top
Hat at Ascot oh well Gordon's
A love ˜ez Pisces n is full
Of the negative energy of
Saturn  - Micalef, you will
Always be our Poet Laureate
No matter wot   “ Elizabeth Regins

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