Evening Standard

Evening Standard by Niall McDevitt

photo: Max Reeves

 

your hands are immediately black

from turning the first few pages

 

you know you should put it down

and take a book out instead

 

but it’s there in stacks by the entrance to the tube

and vendors in tabards are politely distributing it

 

churlish to refuse

********

 

your hands are black

but it’s a small price to pay for the privilege

of tuning into the collective consciousness

of this world-class world-city metropolis

via its traditional and traditionalist organ

the capital’s Beaverbrookian

(or is it Rothermerean or Northcliffean?)

heritage

from the same team that brought you

Picasso-bashing and Hitler-appeasement

now owned by the friendly face of Russian oligarchy

who gifts it to you as freesheet

 

********

 

the ink is making friends with your blood system

 

WISH YOU WERE HERE? YES, BUT NOT WITH ED

 

Poll reveals more voters want to avoid a holiday with Miliband

 

********

 

your hands are shadows of their former selves

your hands are like a gorilla’s

yet you somehow know

that you do not want your country

to be run by a left-wing Jewish intellectual

and that you will do your bit at the ballot box

to prevent this outcome

to prevent your country from being taken over

by a left-wing Jewish intellectual

********

“this I made the devil write with his own hand in Lambeth Fields, 1569, as I now remember.”

Simon Forman

********

 

your hands

remote-controlled

 

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